Thoughts That Count 2: Aria
by Caithrine Glidewell
Summary: What's going through Aria's head whenever she sees or thinks of Ezra? This is my background story to all of the Aria/Ezra scenes from Aria's point of view. Season 2. Thoughts That Count 2: Ezra is also up! Sequel to Thoughts That Count: Aria
1. It's Alive! Part 1

**Thoughts That Count**

**Episode 1 Part 1**

**Aria**

Coming into Ezra's class Friday morning was nothing like usual. I felt no comfort walking through his door, and everyone looked at us in a way they hadn't since they'd found Allison's body. Everyone was talking, and it didn't take mush too guess about what.

I decided on the lesser evil and looked to the board for Ezra, but he wasn't there, just a drawing. A game of hangman, the answer half filled at the bottom of the board. I tapped the other girls to get their attention. L_AR_

The bell rang and we made our way to our seats. I tried to ignore the gossip floating around me.

The door closed, Ezra appearing with it. We shared a glance, but much like coming through the door, I felt no connection in it, just emptiness.

Ezra stepped to the board without a word, beginning to erase the drawing. For a second I wondered if he might turn around and make scene similar to the time I walked out on him, but before he would the door opened again.

"Need some help with that Mr. Fitz?" My breath stopped. Noel Kahn. He was here, standing in the doorway. His schedule must have changed since his suspension, but why did he have to be here?

"You can take you seat, Mr. Kahn," Ezra said plainly, but I could tell from experience he was hiding fear beneath his words.

I watched, frozen still as Noel made his way to sit in an empty desk next me. Why was her here? Why now?

He turned to me with a smug smile, "Miss me?"


	2. It's Alive! Part 2

**Thoughts That Count**

**Episode 1 Part 2**

**Aria**

"I don't trust him," Spencer said darkly, glaring at Noel across the commons. I didn't trust him either.

I didn't understand why he even got to come back, "How does Noel Kahn get suspended and then come back more popular than he was when he left?" I asked skeptically. It was the one thing I would like to learn from him. It seemed every time one of us missed a day, we came back more infamous.

"It has something to do with that winning smile," Spencer's voice was dripping with sarcasm. I knew it was true though. Even I'd fallen for that smile. Noel was like magnet people just gravitated toward. That is until I saw his true colors. Then all I wanted to do was gravitate _away_.

The door to Ezra's room opened and he spoke to me, coming up with some phony excuse to pull me inside. "Aria, do you have a minute? I'd like to speak with you about your essay?"

"You don't have to go," Spencer reminded me.

I debated with myself on whether or not to. I knew once I went on the other side of those doors, it would be harder to come back out.

"I'll see you in a minute," I finally told Spence, and made my way into his room. It felt as void as it had this morning, but at the same time the air somehow felt completely loaded.

"Are you okay?" Ezra asked hurriedly.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I shrugged it off. I wasn't, not really, but it had much less to do with Ian's disappearing act and the constant stream of gossip playing on a loop in the halls as it did with him.

"You wanna talk about it? You wanna tell me what happened?"

Not particularly with anybody, but definitely not with him. "Uh, not really, no."

"Aria, don't shut me out. I'm here for you."

"I'm not shutting you out," I insisted, knowing full well it was a lie, unless _shutting_ and _freezing_ were considered non-interchangeable. "I just… don't really feel like talking to you about it."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Jackie, and I understand how it looks, but you see she doesn't change anything. Come over later," I turned away. One half-assed, two second apology wasn't going to get me to fall back into trusting him. If he thought it would work that way, he was seriously mistaken.

"I can't tonight."

"Aria, please talk to me."

"I don't know what to say," I wished the air would lighten and the words would come, but it wasn't that easy, "Things just feel different."

"But they're not different, nothing's changed. I'm still in love with you."

I couldn't hear him say this right now. He may still be in love with me, but suddenly, I didn't know if I felt that love towards him anymore, "I can't do this right now."

"Are we over?"

I didn't know how to answer that question. I didn't know where we were or what I wanted. I just… "I don't know."

I walked out, leaving him there. Unfortunately the heavy feeling didn't leave with his presence.


	3. It's Alive! Part 3

**Thoughts That Count**

**Episode 1 Part 3**

**Aria**

Calling Ezra Saturday morning seemed so surreal. Something about it felt off. But I knew how I felt all those months ago when he wouldn't give me the chance to explain. Somehow in the end things got so blown out of proportion that he ended up the bad guy in my mistake.

Standing outside of his apartment felt worse than his classroom. Not just empty, because there was something here that I wasn't willing to let go of. I guess that's why I'd called. But here, the air was harder to breath

"Hi. You're early. Uh- come in," I ducked my head as I came in, not taking in the room as I usually would have. "I'm… glad you called. I read yesterday's paper," he said from behind me.

"We didn't lie to the police," I swore, "Eh-I-I don't know what happened to his body, but Ian's dead."

"I believe you," He seemed sincere, and I felt relieved that for once, someone took my side in these crazy arguments, "I'm just sorry you have to go through this alone."

"I'm not alone," I defended. I had my friends, and-and…

"I understand you have your friends, but you have me too. You just don't realize it."

It didn't feel like I had him, not entirely. In light of recent events he seamed like he wasn't entirely mine. Something made me feel like he couldn't be, "You said… yesterday that things hadn't changed. It feels like they have."

"Ask me anything. I will tell you the truth."

I contemplated my questions as I sat down across from him. I had a few questions to make up my mind of whether or not I wanted to try to make this work. I had to use them wisely, "Why did she end it?"

"She thought she was ready for the commitment, but… she wasn't,"

"Am I… your rebound," I couldn't help thinking that for him this had all been some fling that he'd used to get over her, that I'd just been in the wrong place at the wrong time. For all I knew he was at that bar drinking down his heartbreak.

"No… No," He insisted, "But you did help me to get over her."

This last thought kept nagging at me. I couldn't just believe that she had no part in us, "Were you still in love with her when you met me?" He choked up on his answer but we both knew that was enough to give me the truth. I was right. He wasn't entirely mine. Suddenly all those weeks of struggle in the beginning, when I wasn't sure if he wanted it as much as I did, they all made sense, "I wish I would have known that."

"Aria, there was not one moment when we were together that I was thinking about _anybody_ but you," he said softly, pushing my hair back from my cheeks, then taking my hands in his. Usually his touch would have made me want to melt, to lean on him and know I was safe, but it felt so opposite now. I slid my hands away from his.

"Thank you for being honest."

"You know what I love about Saturdays?" He asked, shifting to make the air just a little lighter. Something in his voice was warmer, truer, "It's that feeling I get when I… look up at you and I realize that we have the _whole day_ to be together."

I smiled shyly, remembering back on months of Saturdays, "Yeah I know that feeling."

"So will you stay?"

This caught me off guard. My first response was to wonder how he could ask, but I wasn't harsh enough to call him on his mistake of our exchange, "Ezra, eh-I… I couldn't. Not now. Not yet."

He nodded, clearly upset, but got up and led me to the door. I turned back, not really sure how to say goodbye. Every word between us felt so loaded.

"Hey, can I call you tomorrow?" he asked.

"Um…" I hadn't processed any of this yet. I needed time to find myself in this mess before I tried to find my way back, "I'm spending the day with my family."

"Yeah," he breathed with a disheveled nod.

"I'll see you on Monday," I offered, hoping to give him something that would make this all hurt a little less for both of us, a reassurance.

Just as I turned down the hall, my phone beeped in my back pocket. I stopped to pull it out.

**Look familiar? What's missing? -A**

Below was an image of Ezra's apartment desk. How-

I turned back and jogged down the hallway to Ezra's door, flipping up the mat. The key was gone. A had been here.


End file.
